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Friday

September 20, 2019
Happy Harvesting, Fellow Threshers,

Yes to the harvest moon! Night is a shadow. The moon is a night light. Silver spray on the deep pasture, gilded with coppery mist.
Harvest Moon Reverie Interrupted by Full-On Harvest.
Oy, which apples to pick before the tomatoes freeze? Oy, the tomatoes, so many, enough to make paste. Oy, why did we plant turnips?
A lot more Oys were in the Harvest Comment Queue, but we got interrupted by a bumper crop of Readers' Questions.* 

This is a good problem to have, like a whole ‘nother harvest. Oy.

Reader: Are animals having more fun than we are?
Staff: How are we supposed to know? Ask them already.

Reader: Why are there no women doormen?
Staff: That's a dumb question.

Reader: Why doesn’t gravity work sideways?
Staff: Who says it doesn’t?

Reader: Why don’t any of the "united" states start with the letter E?
Staff: We’re working on a name change to Endiana. (No worries, egomaniacs: Still leaves three states starting with "I.")

(Staff replies are neither endorsed nor repudiated by management, even though they probably oughta be.)

At which point we were interrupted yet again.
Earth Tried To Eat Us Alive.
Luckily, we were able to talk our way out of it on account of the harvest, in which, arguably, Earth may have been involved. Plus a little flattery never hurts. "Earth, you’re totally rad!"  And we mean it. Really.

Anyway, back to the harvest. Oy, the ton of turnips. Oy, the spaghetti squash. Oy, the beets and the kale and the who wouldn’t wanna bag a rutabaga? And Pesto-Change-O, we have pounds of basil.
Wikipedia Friday Favorite:
In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. Earth or no Earth, we remain curious about deep dirt, prime movers, the silent cogs that enable loud distorted echoes.
Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.
Dulyosis (doo lee oh sis) Noun:   When you can't tell the difference between one and many.
In a sentence:  When donating eighty pounds of turnips to the soup kitchen to avoid eating them, Minnie Vann deftly employed her dulyosis when brightly announcing, "Have a turnip, folk!"

Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes:
"There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in."
– Leonard Cohen
Friday Fluff:
Good year for tomatoes. Then again, any year with drippy acidsweet red tomatoes is a good year, a great year, dizzy, succulent. The tomato determines the year.

* We would have told you names of the questioners but staff put our jeans in the wash without checking the damn pockets. Your name got so clean it was, like, invisible, ha-ha. Whoever you are or were, "Thanks!" and please let us know if you’d like to avoid the aggravation and let staff make up a name for you. We have a bunch of really good ones, like "Adam Eiser" and "Barb Aryan" that are quite available.
Write if you (do) or (do not) get interrupted.

Yours in the squash zone of tomato time,
Jonathan
www.jonathanmarcus.org

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