Flossophy Friday July 19

July 19, 2019

Happy Buzzing, Fellow Cicadas,

At the risk of repudiating the bad news zeitgeist, we have good news to share! Pick the Best One:
1.    Staff got through the week.
2.    Dogs can be reasoned with.
3.    North is a little to the left of northeast.

Guess what, ha-ha, you’re WRONG! The winner is None of the Above! The best news is --> we have a whopping three Reader Replies of the Week:

1. Thanks to Paige Parry, on the matter of last week's sensitive inquiry: If you’re being really funny and nobody’s laughing, are you really being funny?

Paige replies: “Still dumb, still laughing.”

2. Loyal Reader replies:

“A truly standout issue that had me laughing all the way, except when I was weeping over the late Marcus Aurelius. Six months, huh? Renew me, please! Thanks.
signed,

your loyal reader”

Staff Replies:

Thank you, Loyal Reader! Enclosed is a check, approximating the negotiated sum, extending your obligation to keep reading.

P.S: Not telling you what to do, but staff would have capitalized

"Signed, Your Loyal Reader."

3. And another!

"Dear Editors and Staff,

Forwarding today’s Poem of the Day for no reason other than it was right above yours in my inbox. With love, Bill"

[Editorial and Staffatorial Comment: we love reasons that aren’t reasons because most reasons aren’t really reasons even when they think they are, so when reasons admit to being impulses, we melt into them.]

A Dog Has Died
My dog has died.
I buried him in the garden
next to a rusted old machine.
{click here to weep with joy at the rest of Pablo Neruda's poignant poem}

Even More Good News! From our very own tech department: Staff is concerned that dogs are unable to communicate with loved ones overseas. This is due partly to their contempt for crappy audio quality. But mainly, dogs need the olfactory connection. They’d much rather smell a loved one than hear about what somebody did today or who built a castle.

So we put the tech department full on it. “Forget the buzzing cicadas of your lesser self,” we told them. The tech department stayed on task and, well, shucks, we are so proud, look, here comes the Smellophone. “What is it?” you wonder. Well . . . it’s like a telephone. But it transmits smells! So dogs can smell each other when they’re in, like, say, Poughkeepsie and Cadiz, respectively.

Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.

Petrafaction (pet trah fak shun) Noun: The process of turning into your dog.

In a sentence: The mayor of St. Bernard, Ohio, in a desperate bid for reelection, pursued complete petrafaction by over-describing what his bassett hound smelled on the campaign trail.

Wikipedia Friday Favorite:
In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. This Week, a man whose art involved a Weimaraner named Man Ray.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Wegman_(photographer)

Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.

“The great advantage of being a reasonable creature
is that you can find a reason for whatever you want to do.”
– Benjamin Franklin

Friday Fluff:
You gotta love living in a neighborhood when you get these sorts of messages.