Flossophy Friday March 6

March 6, 2020

Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler, Fellow Rouleérueax,

In deference to pleadings from an annoying minority of the community, we now offer Flosstrology.

This is about greasing access to your astrology overlords. See, a lot of the community leads dynamic, richly rewarding lives and don’t have time to read today’s insider tip from the zodiac, so they don’t check. (That’s their loss, or freedom, or whatever.) Fine. But the weird thing is the annoying, can’t-get-anything-done-before-sundown minority are the cohort that wants the thing streamlined. Weird, huh?

Anyhow, never mind, so staff got wind, and without anything better to do (like pursue the corporate mission), they up and patented the Flosstrology Perma-Chart™, so if you’re living the life, you can just check your chart once and it’ll last until things change . . .

Updated Zodiacal Flosstrology Perma-Chart, “Good Until Next Time” *

Haries: Get some sleep. Don’t give advice. Take care of your gums.

Thaurus: Practice your homonyms. Swallow your words. Chew like a cow.

Hemini: Quit pretending. Read Dickens. Buy a shopping center.

Chancer: Take up pinochle and mahjong. Have some celery. Take a train.

Lego: Think like an auctioneer. Drive a ’58 Desoto. Avoid red-hots.

Virgoy: Go just as fast in reverse. It helps to close your eyes.

Libro: Play everything in Treble Clef, in 7/11 time, while shopping there.

Scorpius: Take up arachnophobia. Buy more pens. Park parallel on the left.

Sagitearius: Win the lottery. Ask the mayor what to do. Do the opposite.

Chapricorn: Wear a sun dress. Eat some roadkill. Paint a neighbor.

Aquariuth: Prune a plum tree. Buy some stickers. Have a sale.

Pishees: Make a scale model of reality and see if anyone wants it.

* You’ll know, because we’ll tellya.

Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.

Inkfested (ink fess tedd) Noun: Page full of words screaming for an editor.

In a sentence: Page Turner was tasked with informing maniacal author Rita Book that her latest tome was terminally inkfested and had been mercifully incinerated.

Wikipedia Friday Favorite:
In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. This is where staff had to go to bring you the Flosstrology Perma-Chart:

Kármán line

Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.

“The most important days of your life
are the day you were born and the day you find out why." – Mark Twain

Reader Replies of the Week!

1.) Thanks to Michael Ghelerter of St. Augustine, Florida, who’s happy to share the magnificent growth and change conferred upon his previously small life until expanded by the powers of the Flosstrology Perma-Chart.

2.) Thanks, Washington Post! They saw our treatment of Leap Year, decided to address everybody and pretend that we don’t exist. But still, they responded:

WaPo: Leap Over Leap Year

3.) Don Gawlik hopes they weren't thinking of exhuming Aunt Lily before her time. And Don adds, "We may not be able to understand bubbles, but we still like bubbles! I think it's because they have little rainbows on them."

Bonus Wikipedia page:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_(physics)

Write if you (do) or (do not) correct your friendly local Astrologer this week.

Yours in the bubbles,
Jonathan
www.jonathanmarcus.org

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