Happy Gravitating, Fellow Lead Balloons, Staff has crashed with a rather molten thud into the new year. They weren’t ready for it, even though warnings were, um, lavish. It’s a little embarrassing but perhaps understandable. First of all, even though 2,019 is a prime number (probably), the year 2019 itself was not exactly prime (definitely), and a lot of people took the "New Year!" warnings as fake news. Oh well, ha-ha, it happened anyway. Nevertheless, let’s look at the bright side: we have a job opening here at headquarters, and it’s a great opportunity for the perplexed. Apply now while supplies last!
Job Title: Deputy Chief of Leadership Strategy.
Objective: Manipulate the Chief of Leadership Strategy into resigning.
Full Disclosure: He’s really annoying.
Qualifications:Anyone who has never worked at Facebook or with Betsy Devos is welcome to apply.
Please provide illustrations of your employment history (semi-abstract expressionism preferred).
Sample Job Application Illustration
Even though we have been stumbling along without a Deputy Chief of Leadership Strategy, our popular Math Department has been internalizing the fact that there is no sound in outer space, because sound is the agitation of matter, and it matters that outer space has no matter. Beautiful! The purity of spatial silence inspired the Numbers People to express themselves in a new mathematical symbol for Infinitely Greater
Than:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
In a sentence: Noise on earth >>>>>>>>>>>>>>outer space. Neat, huh? And the corollary is: Democracies last longer in pure space. Because nobody can hear what you’re saying. Beautiful!
Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.
Ooleerd(oohhh leeerd) Noun: Free time to think about deep space.
In a sentence: Enjoying his long-awaited jubilación, Tom Aytoe indulged in ooleerdso long that finches nested in his beard.
Wikipedia Friday Favorite: In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. This week, we offer a weird phenomenon on the benefits of random background noise, which you can’t enjoy in the ideal milieu for
democracies:
Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.
"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."– Albert Einstein
Friday Fluff:
Thanks to Science Department Manager, Don Gawlik, of beautiful downtown Durango, Colorado, for stimulating the discussion of silence in space.
And at the risk of violating our Flossophy philosophy, we also thank Dr. Don for sending along a word, an actual word, people, that almost didn’t fit through the intertubes: hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. Yes, it is a word, and it means the morbid fear of long words.
Write if you (do) or (do not) suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
