How ‘Bout the View From the Bridge, Fellow Pilots,
We’re packing up our temporary digs at the penthouse this week, and the slog reminds us: Swabbing the decks of this protean barge called Life on Earth is a damn lot easier when the volunteers show up. Of course, since they’re volunteers, they don’t always show up. (What are you gonna do, fire them?) ("Lighten up, pal, we’re just volunteers . . .") Happily, benefits percolate when they don’t show, because then you can just stand around, and if anyone asks why, you righteously elevate your torpor by proclaiming, "We’re waiting for the volunteers." Impressive!
Waiting for the Volunteers
But actual volunteers on the scene can be rewarding. If they are properly managed. It can be a problem. Volunteers might function well when redirected from:
1.Wine tasting.
2.Thinking out loud.
3.Complaining.
4.Playing pinochle (weirdly, their game of choice).
However, some activities are well suited to volunteers:
1.Going through stuff.
2.Moving stuff around.
3.Throwing stuff out.
4.Packing stuff up.
Anyway, the East Jesus Eleventh Commandment Unit finally showed up and promptly started tasting wine, thinking out loud, complaining, and shuffling the decks (the cards, not the barge). Whatever. Everyone was so happy.
But one guy actually wanted to help pack up the penthouse, whew, so we turned him loose on piles of stuff to move around or throw out or pack.
So the guy grabs one thing on the top of the first pile and one thing in the middle of the second pile, and—presto!—he links up a pair of dusty Op-Eds that fit together like Nixon and Watergate. Look:
Read how one guy prefers freedom over power. The other guy, well, if you don’t want to read it we can connect you with a volunteer who might read it for you. Or teach you how to play pinochle. It’s Win/Win!
In other news, unrelated, we are compiling a dossier on Great Ideas for Other People. Volunteer to send us yours! Even if you're not from Tennesee!
Reader Reply of the Week + Wikipedia Friday Favorite:
In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page.
This week, thanks to avid student of the unknown, Tom Kelley, from Morro Bay, California.
Which makes us all wonder, "What three words would best describe my location?" Hours of fun . . . Thanks, Tom!
Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.
Volateel(voll lah teel) Noun: Otherwise nice guy who wants to fire volunteers.
In a sentence:When the volunteers painted the wall semi-gloss
and the trim flat, the vollateel exploded and threatened, "Don’t make me pay you to get this right!"
Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.
"Before you get a haircut that’s short on top and long in the back, you should mullet over." – Head Beautician, East Jesus Eleventh Commandment Unit
Friday Fluff: Dig this. The valiant volunteer who found the Op-Eds was still at it untold hours later, somewhere around midnight, just this side of the International Date Line (or the other side, who can tell?), and from the bottom of the eleventh pile of stuff he retrieved our Flossophy Time Machine! Amazing! We thought it might be in there somewhere, but with all this packing and unpacking crap, you never know . . .
Snortimer, the Flossophy Friday Time Machine
Write if (do) or (do not) volunteer for anything. Or something. Steady as she goes, Jonathan www.jonathanmarcus.org
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PPS: Access the complete archive of past Flossophy Fridays, from the very beginning.
