UPDATE: Because so many of you panicked over the volunteers who crashed the billionaire’s beater into the personal injury sign, we have been following the story hour-by-hour; surely you’ll be relieved by an extremely boring outcome:
Boring Photo Without Exciting Wrecked Sign (Now Replaced with Brown Mulch)
However, the boredom may invert to mayhem since hifalutin egghead legal people now threaten the volunteers with "Unjustified Administrative Leave," claiming that since nobody was accidentally shot, the leave was taken illegally.
Hmmm. Oy.
In other news, we hope you’re not embarrassed by homonyms (now outlawed in Alabama) because we hereby celebrate our first homonymnal submission: based on last week’s aromatic Wikipedia entry, Petrichor, esteemed reader Bob Lytle of beautiful downtown Richmond, Virginia, springs forth with [drum roll please!] -->
Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.
Pettrickor(Pet trick orr) Noun: Someone who pranks pets.
In a sentence:The pettrickor loved to chase the cat around the apartment with a laser light, but the cat had the last laugh by peeing on his pillow.
That said, it’s been a
week! Maybe it’s something in the aromatic soil onto which words rained, because from the very same block in beautiful downtown Richmond, Daniela Patterson-Wyatt has dabbled in the real world (not our natural turf) and returns with -->
Googleogling (gooo gehl ohhh gehl ing) Noun:It’s not you sinking into the black hole of endless Google searches, it’s them watching you, and taking notes. Lots of notes, about you, and not telling you.
In a sentence:Maude Lynne thought her neighbors were psychic since they always knew where she left her hairbrush, but really they were full-time googleogling and never could find their own hairbrush because nobody googleogled them.
Wikipedia Friday Favorite: In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. This week we offer a charming locality whose name may become pronounceable if Pete Buttigieg is elected president:
Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.
"The cat sat
on the mat is not a story. The cat sat on the other cat’s mat is a story.." – John le Carré
Friday Fluff:
This just in: "Paying attention" is quite the tortured turn of phrase, because why pay attention when attention pays you?
More crucially: Thanks to everyone for all the lousy ideas for what to put on the newinternationaldateline.netwebsite. Now would be a good time to submit your above average suggestions.
And if that’s too much to ask, let
us know what famous dead people you’d like to see engaged in "Battles of the Dead." For example: Genghis Khan vs. Vincent Van Gogh. That’s just an example to get you going. Make it interesting, people! Thank you!
By the way, we named our vacuum cleaner. Snortimer.
Write if (do) or (do not) name an appliance while on Administrative Leave.
