Everyone’s been asking why so few people are celebrating Lent this year. Well, at the risk of stating the obvious, it’s because everyone is really Jewish, even though most of us won’t admit it.And by the way,
is Lent really something to celebrate? You celebrate when it’s over, right? But just to cover all bases, you can always give up, say, feeling like crap all the time, plus that way you get to have a good time during and after. (You’re welcome!)
You can also opt to give up attracting Socialites, which is something we’ve struggled with all week. Well, guess what? Your ace deuces at Flossophy Friday perfected the E-Z Off Socialite Method™ and it’s all about—wouldn’t you know it—couture. Simply deploy the following unisex ensemble, and you’ll be Socialite-free for hours on end: wide wale pleated corduroy slacks in burgundy, under a loose cable knit cardigan in any jewel tone, over a sharp madras shirt with matching Converse All Stars. Works better than you dare to imagine.
Breaking News: Everything stayed the same for one hour the whole time between 3 and 1 AM Greenwich Mean Times. Over two billion people slept right through it, and everyone else was either at work or dying. Except, thankfully, Flossophy Friday agents,* who stayed abreast of things. And who doesn’t like a breast? You’re welcome, once again!
*We would have stayed abreast ourselves, of course, if we hadn’t been brainstorming with our publicist, who got a nose bleed. A real gusher. It went on and on. Disgusting. Much more on this maybe next week, as soon as things settle down.
Fictionary Friday: Words you Need. Maybe.
Bubblomania (bub loh may nee ah) Noun: Obsessive boiling.
In a sentence:
When Lance Boyle announced, "I just love the way steam fills my nostrils, whatever’s simmering, whether it’s old beef or scented candles or mom’s shoes," Boyle’s Bubblomania Anonymous chapter knew it was hopeless.
Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.
"Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex."
-- Frank Zappa
Wikipedia Friday Favorite: In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page.
Reader Reply of the Week: Thanks to Rose Marcus for providing valuable data for our ongoing research on "What It Feels Like", from balmy Syracuse (Note: Fake News! from Lowville, NY.)
Friday Fluff:
In honor of daylight savings time, we invite you to our try-ennial Dusk-A-Thon, to see how far we can lengthen it. It will be bipartisan. We will sing dusk songs and we will call it the gloaming and vocalize joy for universal rampant boisterous democratic atonality. Dusk and twilight will mud wrestle each other into a frothy purple haze. We will mount our vesper scooters and melt into the night. We are crickets singing firefly songs.
And: Hit "Reply" to send us your Fictionary, Fizzdom, Fluff or Wiki! Random thoughts and flights of fancy are welcome. (We respect requests for anonymity.)
All the best, see ya soon, write if you (do) or (do not) Beware the Ides of March.
