Flossophy Friday February 28

"February 28, 2020

Happy Greeting, Fellow Greeters,

In honor of Super Tuesday, we hereby celebrate Super Thursday, even if it was yesterday. Yet others insist we should rip right into next Wednesday. Super!

Calm down, it’s the last day before Leap Year. We peaked too early, and now we don’t care. And now that you mention it, where do the quarter days accumulate? Does a Greenwich Mean Time timekeeper reconstitute quarter days into an extra whole day once every four years? Where in the hell do they ferret away twenty-four hours and hold them down when time won’t stand still? We know some people can explain this, but some people can explain bubbles.

Don’t worry, it’s not all good news. We’ve gotten a ton of hate mail about our weather forecasting exposé. So much for the joy of revealing the obvious: crappy weather forecasting improves your life. To all you haters, have some cheese. And we’ll throw in a free forecast for ya’: if you spell fun backwards and then transpose the letters, we predict you could wind up with unf. How much fun is that? (Rhetorical.)

Probably not quite as much unf as this Reader Reply of the Week, inspired by the burgeoning Charlie Kilpatrick for President campaign! Thanks goes to Don Cowan, of Charlotte, Middle East Carolina. Don will vote on Super Tuesday for the only candidate who can croon the nation into burying the past, and everyone (from all sides of all the aisles) can join in with Easy Funeral Hits! Grandma Had Secrets, Who Gets What . . . and other graveyard favorites!

Fictionary Friday: Words You Need. Whether you know it or not.

Possume (pahs sooom) Verb: Jumping to the conclusion that the being under discussion is dead.

In a sentence: The trio in the ad for 'Easy Funeral Hits' was so excited to use the Magnus Chord Organ that they possumed Aunt Lily when she took a nap.

Wikipedia Friday Favorite:
In honor of the intersection of curiosity and logarithmically expanding human knowledge, we offer a weekly favorite obscure Wikipedia page. Given the outside chance that Charlie Kilpatrick is not elected president, consider the consequences: we may have to put up with some bad music. Here is a list to scare you into voting for the "Baby Grand Candidate," even though we do not necessarily agree with every entry . . .

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst

Fizzdom Friday: from our collection of favorite quotes.

"You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make all of them yourself." – Sam Levenson

Reader Reply:

Reader Reply of the Week and Possibly for All Time, thanks to Don Gawlik of Durango, Colorado:

"I always look forward to being misquoted in Flossophy Friday." (Not much of a misquote.)

Staff admires Don’s sacrificial attitude and strongly suggests that others (we’re looking at you) adopt same. Which of the following did Don not say in regard to Syd’s Snooze Room (see photo from last week):

Where is the entrance to SYD's Snooze Room?
If someone needs a snooze, hiding the door would not be good business practice.
Perhaps the idea is for the sleepy person to first buy a rug or leather belt.
83% of Americans say they are above average drivers.

Friday Fluff: Call to Action

Shockingly, this is Flossophy Friday #59. Yep. Fifty-nine consecutive weeks of Staff clawing through snake-bitten mayhem just so we can click "Send" on Friday at 7:03 AM.

The least you can do is forward this document to appropriate victims. It’s not that hard. Plus, they (may) or (may not) blame you. Or thank you. And so will we.

Write if you (do) or (do not) squander your extra day this year.

Yours in leaping,
Jonathan
www.jonathanmarcus.org

PS: If you're not going to submit anything for next week, do not click here.

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PPPS: Access the complete archive of past Flossophy Fridays, from the very beginning.